Yes, but I’m not one of those smug fairies with dainty wings as commonly seen in human tramp stamps, a forest gnome rather (we are fairies too).

I spend my days wandering my gnome forest in search of mushrooms, nuts and berries, and sometimes when I get too tired, I like to travel on the back of a squirrel.

I am quite partial to an extremely potent spirit called the berry wine, and though it makes me do crazy gnome things at times (like banging my gnome head on the bark of a tree for no reason, tromping on a succulent mushroom, punching a smug winged fairy etc.), my day is incomplete without a peg or two of this magical potion.

I am very fond of the color green, and in my free time I like to play the harp.

We forest gnomes avoid any sort of contact with humans, so I don’t know much about your breed. But it is common knowledge in the forest gnome world that right from a very tender age, humans are taught to run after papers with rather ugly faces printed on them. I also heard that humans have forgotten how to survive in the forest.

My grandfather once told me a story of a young human who tried to survive in the forest in Alaska and died alone there after a couple of months. Grandpa gnome said that the boy wasn’t to blame; he was just too idealistic to realize that his human forefathers had already failed him countless generations ago.

As for my brother gnomes, I detest the traveling gnomes, for they have sold their gnome souls for the lure of fame, and the garden gnomes bore me stupid with their endless melancholy tales.

Also, I think cats are assholes.

Story by Ruati Chhangte. This is a work of fiction. All Rights Reserved.

Illustrations by Alyssa Pachuau for The Mean Journal.

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